Well, I can now reveal what the bastards were up to! They secretly got married at a Norfolk Registry Office !!!
Of course they have been living as man and wife (ie argueing a lot and not having sex) for nearly 10 years but I think it was my blog interview in the EDP which may have changed things. I had to describe Mrs Rine to the reporter as "Co-habittee" or "Concubine", and after several attempts at spelling she said, "Oh, I'll just put wife!".
It was so secret, even Mr P. didn't know about it! (Only Joking of course). Certainly none of their children, relatives, friends, or mothers had been told, and they had chosen the weekend when their respective second eldest daughters were visiting so they could be dragooned into being witnesses.
And we were included in the Stag Night!
Here are the pics!
Most stag nights involve going out with close friends, but as Mr P. is the "Billy No-Mates" of Mid Norfolk we all had to entertain him while he was plied with Wincarnis and Alcopops. Here we all are playing his lovely Playstation "Buzz" Music Quiz for the 12th game in a desperate attempt to let him win. (Yes, I realize you probably thought he was much younger, slimmer and cooler, but that IS him on the floor!)
Here we are at the end of the evening, exhausted in front of the fire. I have pixelated Mr P. to cover up the full horror, but he was well pixelated in any case. Note that I take up pole Alpha-Male Position nearest the fire ... it's a guy thing. Mr P. is the one without the balls.
We arrive at the Registry Office! And look what had been thoughtfully provided outside the front door! I've heard of getting hitched, but this is ridiculous!!!
The crowds surge forward at the registry office as Mrs Rine steadies Mr P's hand. It was all very emotional, and if there had been a Wedding Cake, it would certainly have been in tears.
Thanks to self-timer camera technology, that's another 500 quid for a photographer saved! Mr P's daughter Jemma had turned up with Justin Timberlake, but few passers by gave him a passing look as he didn't have that ridiculous trilby on.
Two glasses of wine and the photography starts to lean hugely to the right in the infamous "doing a Blair" technique. Don't worry about us, mate, we'll be fine tied up here outside on a rail. You just carry on with your photos. Thoughtless Bastards!!!
Well that's it now. One night honeymoon in a hotel near Cambridge and then it's back to normal in our Sad little Dog World.
Far Kennel!!! We have a laugh, though!!!
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30 witty and incisive ripostes:
Awww, that's great news! congratulations! - it's just a shame you and oz weren't allowed in to join in with the celebrations!
Awww, bless. Bipeds and their little traditions, eh?
Tell the truth, Murph.
You were pixelated because you had a tear in your eye.
Congratulations to Mr P and Mrs Rine.
Hurrah!
Did you throw Baker's Complete Shite in the air instead of confetti?
Pass my congratulations on to the happy bipeds.
Low key weddings are the best sort really - er, well, there were only four guests at ours. Keeps out the riff raff.
Count your blessings Murph - at least you weren't done up in some ridiculous morning suit get up which would've certainly been the case if you were at Paris Hilton or Geri Halliwell's nuptials.
I will pass on your best, thanks everyone.
On reflection I suppose stretched limos and long tailcoats would have been a lot worse.
But I wish I'd had the presence of mind to have taken a bag of Bakers Complete Shite to throw over them.
I shall raise a glass of Cava to Mrs Rine and Mr P.
By the way - P doesn’t stand for Pitt by any chance does it? It’s just that those photos could be of Brad’s younger brother.
Brad Pitt's Trailer Trash Mad Uncle, I think Kaz. Those shades of yours are playing tricks.
I wonder if she will be Mrs P. or he will be Mr Rine. I suspect neither!
Who would have thought it?
Cambridge.
United.
Murph,
Please pass on my congratulations to the happy couple.
Perhaps now that Mr P is hitched it might help settle his 'separation' anxiety, though I notice you still had to look after him and Oz while they recovered from their evening exertions.
Odd that you and Oz weren't allowed to be 'companions of honour' at the ceremony but I suppose someone was needed to ensure that 'any old riff-raff' didn't gate crash.
BTW, has this got you in the mood to 'pop the question' to that little lass in Australia that you're rather fond of?
Fortuitously, I had the urge to put a bottle of champagne in the fridge only half an hour ago.
When I drink it, I will raise a glass to Mr Rine and Mrs P
Backroads: There used to be a football team called that!
Magwitch: Once again you have my best interests at heart! And you have a good suggestion regarding Cara - I could go from "carer" to "cara" in an instant!
Z: That's very nice. I see it's that old French stuff and not the proper Spanish Cava that goes down in these necks of the woods.
Well congratulations to them. I think magwitch is right. Time for them bells to chime for you. You might be able to find something dapper here: http://www.advantagebridal.com/dogweac.html
Ohmygod Nutty! I have had a quick look at the site you mention and am SO grateful my natural labrador elegance was not undermined by a large white frilly bow!
I'm slightly nervous now that this site may be a regular haunt of yours, but if you looked it up with me in mind, thank you!
Lovely!
Congratulations to Mr. P and Mrs Rine/P.
Shame they didn't let you in - with the technology at your paws, you'd have managed to keep all the photos upright.
But then, you might have had to wear ridiculous outfits.
(verification is dofgk - any relation?)
Thanks stitch! I'm sure you could have knitted me a handsome vest.
Actually they did try and get me into the ceremony but the nice Mrs Bouquet who was handling the registration said it wasn't allowed. I bet if it was Madge and Guy bloody Ritchie we would have been allowed!
(Word Verification - "byheck" . I think blogger is employing sound Yorkshire folk at last)
That's terrific. Pass on my congratulations to the Uprights.
Just wanted to add my congratulations.
I love starting the week off with good news. Please pass on our congratualations (Boys says so as well).
I love a good wedding and the photos are great. You must be very pleased with your bipeds.
Tim: Thanks, they are Horizontals this evening though - it's an age thing I think.
Kell: You are very kind
Roses : I wouldn't go so far as saying pleased.... We are being left for a night and are indignant!
Hi Murphmeister, from across the pond,
I got a kick out of the pixelated pictures.
Congrats to your family on their nuptials.
Ellie the Beagle
Congrats to your bipeds, on both their witty wedding cake gag as well as their wedding itself :)
Big news! Congradapixelations!
charlee says forget about hat cow Cara!
Sorry about the typo. Charlee says forget about that Cara and you should instead focus her. She is after all closer and better looking.
http://www.mainetoday.com/pets/dogslife/006823.html
Ellie the Beagle: Welcome! We had an Olympic Ski Jumper called "Eddie the Eagle" but he was rubbish. You look a fine Beagle.
Timorous Beastie: Welcome also from a long distance away! Pull up a chair and make yourself at home.
Gooddogz: Thanksellations to you. Must check pic of Charlee! There was a lonely hearts ad in the paper in Norfolk last week which said "Farmer seeks wife. Must have own tractor. Please send picture of tractor".
Aw, that's really lovely. I am currently drinking my cup of tea to their health and happiness.
How about you Murph? Has this put you in the mood for tying the knot? I believe Harrods is the place for poochy nuptials.
Oh!! How exciting!! Congratulations to Mr P and Mrs Rine, you must be very proud of them Murph!
I have to point out though that although you have the alpha male position by the fire, Mr P appears to be craftily using you as a cushion. Must be something about male bipeds - Mr Ruby does that to me as well.
Julia: I'm not ready for commitment you know. Having seen some of the doggie wedding suits I don't think I'm ready for them, either!
Ruby: Thanks a lot. Yes, I am a constant source of mental and physical support for Mr P. in his declining years.
Murphy....my heart skipped a beat when I read the title of your latest blog....I thought it was YOU who had decided to get hitched to a four legged English rose. I was most relieved to read further and discover it was in fact Mr P and Mrs P/R!! Pass on our heartfelt congrats to the happy couple.
Love from your exotic antipodean amore x x
awww Cara!!!! I'm touched! Your picture is next to my basket and in my sidebar. I may have to invest in a far kennel in Sydney - bonzer!
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